...

Shep Insert #5

The weekend.

Friday
Visiting Tahbilk Winery. Had a beautiful lunch, a small intake of award-winning alcohol and a casual stop at Nargambie lake again for icecream.

Saturday
Early start to Mt buller, driving through Benalla and Mansfield. The snow coverage was decent but the weather deserved a [-5]. The first experience with snowboarding wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but still gotta do a bit of skiing to cure the 2 years hunger. I learnt that the secret to snowboarding was to pray. The drive down the mountain in the fog was quite dangerous but was rather enjoyable once on the road. Red bull was life-saving. Arriving at 'Home', it felt so touching to have friends cooking for you. It was like having a family that looks after you.

Sunday
Sleep-in day. Very sore after [6 hrs drive & 7 hrs skiing & only 3 hrs sleep the previous night]. Went to Campbell but it closed so went cheap-food shopping at SPC. Welcome back family from Melbourne :)

PS. At night, cars with high beam looked like Batman signal light.

Shep Insert #4

David: Now have a check on the tooth with your tongue. Does the filling still feel sharp or rough?

Patient: I can't feel anything. My tongue is all numbed

David: Should I put my tongue in there and feel the filling for you?

Shep Insert #3

Day 3-5

This is when work gets serious. It's been a slow start, not knowing where everything are in the surgery. It also didn't help to be called in the middle of having lunch because I thought I was going to visit private practice in the afternoon when I actually supposed to be treating patients. Patients are too nice but working progress has been shitty. When your first and second impressions looked so terrible in your supervisor's eyes, is there a chance for the third impression? Whatmore, my patient was treated the next day by someone else and told them how crappy I was. Finding some positives in all that, I had an opportunity to look through a dental microscope. I had trouble focusing under high magnifications but the image was already super huge and clear at 4X. The endo world with a microscope is surely limitless. And how awesome was Guttaflow (only if you know how to clean the mess)? It was almost like squirting Fuji IX down root canals. Working with BOH has been awesome, given that they love my three least favourite parts of dentistry; Scaling, Special needs and Paediatrics. Realising now that BOH is the perfect counter-part I can't live without, I'll be sure to make friends with a few before graduating.

At home, Davin's yelling "drink!!!" or "just sip" became ever more familiar and so the drinking continued among the 'serious discussion' group. Flu has been a Pandemic with people fallen (sick) like leaves. Bowling was the Tuesday night's outing with Nho Hoon topping the scoreboard at 123 points.

Dinners
Tues: Davin's homemade Nando Chicken Burrito
Wednes: Kelly's Pizza
Thurs: Aditi's Lasagne

PS. someone thought food in patient's mouth was a 'squishy' Fuji7

Shep Insert #2

Private Practice

Visiting one of the six private practices in Shepparton, here are some of the pointers.
- Patients are very nice in private practice especially in rural area
- The appointment book is booked out until september, which hints the serious shortage and demand for services.
- I havent picked up a sickle scaler for years
- Patients don't care how much you know until you show how much you care.

Sitting in the surgery overlooking the green scattered trees and bushes outside, turning on the sound of running water, with maybe a few kangaroos or two hopping by, endulging in the sense of tranquility, wouldn't that be a dream?

Shep Insert #1

Day 1-2

Leaving Melb for 4 weeks in Shepparton, it was full of excitement. The drive was fun when you have someone driving up with you, so you concentrate on keeping a close distance instead of just staring blankly at the empty road ahead. We were in Nargambie in no time. The weather was aunshine-perfect and so did the fish&chip by the glittering lake. we were in Shep within 40 minutes, our home for the next 4 weeks. The 'Pod' looks awesome with 4 bedrooms downstairs, 6 upstairs and a bathroom between each bedroom. Went to do grocery shopping and I'm (not)proud to say that our first bill was $292. We also met 2 lovely BOH, Michelle and Maggie which soon became very much a part of our group thanks to the overly friendly Bec.

The First night in Shep began and ended in a typical fashion, involving a few bottles of alcohol. A few ppl had a few too many which resulted in the house being filled with werid random noises and high pitch squealing throughout the night. We woke up to witness a random chair in the bathroom and Twister on the living room floor which hinted much about the unknown nightly activities. No need to say that in the morning there were a not-hung-over-cos-I'm-still-drunk person, a few zombies, a few cases of xerostomia and a few constant yellings such as "I'm indian. I don't get drunk", "... raped me", "I don't remember anything", "I sense the judgemental aura coming from my left" and so on so on.

The second night was spent much on cooking which wasn't too bad except the rice that looked more like mashed potato. There were games of Settlers of Catan, Boggle and Wii Beach Volleyball which saw me retreating to my bedroom with very sore arms. I don't know much of what followed after I left but surely, it involved some 'serious discussions' and Kelly overtaking Bec on the 'Chart' in less than 24 hours.

Status @ 40 hrs
- No fight among housemates yet
- Kelly AKA Squealer
- I S2 Dishwasher

Yes. But no meat

Today while I was working, I had an unexpected sms from my brother.
It was short and sharp to my brother's typical fashion and it said "yes. but no meat"

Now, what does that suppose to mean? I had no idea what he was talking about. so 4 words were what I had to work with.
The 'yes' implied that I asked something of him first and the 'no meat' implied it had something to do with food.
Now the time that I might be getting this kinda msg from my brother would be on weekends when I go shopping and he might've wanted me to buy something etc etc.
I started to think along the line of delayed msg that we sometimes get. I went food shopping on the weekend but didn't remember asking him anything.
So I went through my sent msg history. Lo and behold, the culprit msg, "hey can you eat spicy?".
But that wasn't for my brother. It was the msg I sent to a friend who was coming over on saturday for dinner.
Suddenly things began to make sense. In my family, I call my brother by his nickname which is 'A' and hence he is the first on the phone number list alphabetically.
The phone must have knocked around in my pocket and sent accidental msgs I didn't delete off the compose window.

Nothing more to it than that...except my brother would be expecting a spicy non-meat dinner from me tonight =(

Hot N Cold

I change my mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah me, can't decide what to drink
You would know
And I over think
Dark or white chocolate
I should know
That you're so good for me

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You smell like Milo
You taste like Time Out
I can't put you down
You look about right
You're brown and you're white
So good I drink up
Then I lick the cup

I, I don't really wanna pay, no
I, and I don't really wanna go, oh

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You smell like Milo
You taste like Time Out
I can't put you down...

** couldn't get the song off my head the whole weekend **

Through the eye

Optimist

A man saw another man walked into the room with one shoe,
so he asked, "Did you lose a shoe?",
to which the man replied, "No, I've found one".

Is your glass half empty or half full?

Panching all the way

By the tune of "Jingle Bells"

Drilling out the hole
Filling in decay
Missed lunch time, oh no
Working all the way
Where the hell's that thing?
Time to panic, right?
What fun it is to look through the bin
We'll be here all night

(Chorus)
Oh, bell st hell, bell st smells
Panching all the way
Oh, what fun it is to work
In a self-sterilising place
Bell st hell, bell st smells
Panching all the way
Oh, what fun it is to work
In a self-sterilising place

Can't find that football bur
Did room three guys take mine?
Still writing on paper
Why not type online?
Fifteen minutes exam
We thought it's game and fun
Until we started a fight with Trang
Then no work gets done

(Chorus) x2


Disclaimer: I like Panch (a lot) and this lyric is only written for its entertainment value.

Dumb

I'm dumber than I look.
So if I look dumb...pls save me.

Bishops

Moving,
like two bishops.
Close in proximity.
Apart infinitely.

Come,
a bit closer.
Breathe a little slower.
Look a little harder,
and see.

Losing (a) heart
but won't lose the soul.
Sometimes, want to follow.
The path is too narrow,
and falling.

Kids. Love them or hate them.

"Kids cry easily but they smile and laugh just as quickly", someone told me a few days before my paedodontic clinics started but that said little about what to expect over the next 8 weeks. Some kids are breath-takingly sweet and some are self-absorbed annoying little dynamites.

I made kids cry by giving an injection. I made kids cry without giving an injection. I made a kid cry while giving oral hygiene instruction which struck me with the reality of kid's sensitivity. I had a flashback to 10 years ago when I felt the same way that kid felt. It saddened me that as I grew up, my thinking changed and I forgot to consider how I used to feel as a kid. Anyway, I'm happy that I'm able to sort out my feeling and do LA on kids without hesitation.

In paedodontic clinics, we've seen it all. We saw award-winning parents. We saw bad parenting. We saw a 6 yrs old acting like a 15 yrs old. We saw a 15 yrs old acting like a 4 yrs old. We saw Fuji 7 being used. We saw conseal and clamps running out. We saw a dentist "probed" fissure sealant out of the window. We saw all the Nguyens in Melbourne. We saw little angels and demons.

I've yet to extract a baby tooth. My only potential extraction patient didn't show up which means that I've never successfully extracted a primary tooth given that the only primary tooth I attempted earlier this year was a failure and I went home with a cramped forearm.

I've yet to do pulpotomy even though I came across many large decay cavities. Unfortunately for me but fortunately for those kids, they remained as filled cavities, as opposed to root canal treated and crowned. After expressing disappointment to a friend, he casually whispered the devil's words, "you can just slip".

At times, I didn't have much sympathy for patients who failed to turn up to appointments. Within these last few weeks, a simple truth finally came to me that human are human. We have good days and we have bad days. Sometimes (most of the time), patients don't want to see a dentist, just like sometimes, dentists don't want to see patients (especially when we are down physically). My demonstrator once told me "As much as they love you, they don't want to see you if they can help it".

After 8 weeks, not only did I learnt about kids, I learnt much about our friends. Some people hate kids. Some people are good with kids but still hate kids. Some people like young asian girls. Some people like young boys, specifically 9-10 yrs old. Some people ARE like kids. Some people like to steal other people's patients. Some people's mood fluctuated according to the nurse they had or had not.

So after nine exams, nine fissure sealants, eight preventives/scaling, six fillings, one stainless steel crown and popping rubber dam clamps out of the mouth twice, what else can I say? Prescribe TLC.

It's been a nice ride kiddo.

TP

Consent?

Just call

"well u should have just called me to hang out. I was pretty lonely last year..."

Sometimes you wish you could've taken things back and do it all over again but that's just a fantasy.
"Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free." was the famous quote from Shawshank redemption which reminded me that fear is our biggest obstacle in achieving anything. We fear a lot of things: fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear of rejection, fear of failure. We let opportunities fly by without knowing what could've been or how it may have turned out. And on rare occasions, things happened that made you realised what you've lost and made you regreted not taking chances. Like the movie 'Sliding doors' starring Gwyneth Paltrow, a seemingly insignificant event can split your life down different paths and the lives you could've had became parallel universes. So when the next fork on the road comes, which path would you go on? Where do you want to be?

Time to stop being afraid.

Think

Think of the ski.
Think of the snow.
Think you wouldn't wanna roll
down the slopes with me?

.
.
.

.
.
promises
.
.
.
.

.

The Devil ate chicken for dinner

45 mins: Manchester United 0 - 2 Tottenham Hotspur
Final: Manchester United 5 - 2 Tottenham Hotspur

Who said we couldn't do it?

PS. Thanks for your blessing.

TimTam

Windy night. Been dark for a few hours. Head numbed from watching people running around the island. Throat felt dry. Neck, stiff. Eyes half closed, tired from prolong exposure to computer screen light.
Ears picked up a door sound, slamming in the distance. Brother went hiking. Noone else lives in this house. Paused window media player. Sitting still in the dark. Pupils dilated. Ears tuned. Took a bite of TimTam. Silence spreaded. Swallowed TimTam. Paranoid. Hearing things again. Loneliness does that to people. The wind slammed the door?
Getting up slowly. Bedroom door was wide opened. Thought of a hostile attacking by surprise crept to mind. Watched too much hollywood crap. Nevertheless, feet automatically side-stepped towards the far side of the room, circling to see beyond the door. Hand held an invisble baseball bat.
Noone... ahh nutz.
Walking past the door, the noise downstairs became apparent. Brother's friend? but the light was off. This seemed sus. Holding my breath. Slowly crept down the stairs. One hand held up like a pistol. why? dunno. Half a Timtam in the other hand. Stopped half way down. Swallowed TimTam as quietly as possible. Stuck my head over the side of the stairs. The footsteps approached. The dark outline of a tiny bearded man emerged from the dining room. He turned and looked at me.

Oh it was my brother.

Rheumatic Fever

Rheumatic fever is an inflammatory disease that may occur after a streptococcal bacterial infection. It is caused by the antibody cross reaction between the bacterial antigen and the self antigen of various organs such as the heart, joints, the brain and skin. The major concern with regard to dentistry is the damage to the endocardium or the heart valve which may put these patients under the risk of developing infective endocarditis after performing some dental procedures.
That's what I'm going to regurgitate, word by word, if by some dim chance it turns up in the exam for the third time.
Getting shot down by Dr Stacey in viva exam was a unique experience few dental students had to endure, so...once is already one too many.

I'll never ever forget it again.
I'll never ever forget it again
I'll never ever forget it again
I'll never ever forget it again
I'll never ever forget it again
I'll never ever forget it again
I'll never ever forget it again
I'll never ever forget it again
I'll never ever forget it again
I'll never ever forget it again

It's surprising how depression can be a drive to make you study, even though it usually lasts only a few minutes.

Code Purple

We didn't panick...

Until we saw...

PS. Code pink =)

Back at Base

Black nails. Leaf necklace.
Monday long coat.
Tuesday black.
Wednesday red.
Everyday pretty.

Thin line

While digging through my own rubbish, the old thoughts resurfaced.

Why do couples look so right and complete?

Fundamentally, we are all seeking companionships and usually we find ourselves friends. We know that noone likes to be alone. We need someone to listen to, someone to talk to, someone to trust, someone to stick by you when you need them.
but what is friendship? How do we define friendships when some are deep while some are superficial. Some are meaningful while some are deceitful. Some are family, some are strictly 'business' and some are just words we use to refer to people who we knew of. What does it really mean? Doesn't it make you feel cautious about who we let in and what we let out? Is friendship enough?
Friendships and Love are seperated only by a thin line, a line that is so well-defined and yet, fuzzy at the same time. When you have something as vague as 'friendship', doesn't it sometimes make you want to cross the thin line into that new place of trust? and isn't it deligthful to see someone steping over that line with you, someone who trust you just as much. Isn't this why we are constantly searching for our soulmates? Or otherwise we will never feel complete, be complete.

Why do couples look so right and complete?

Because they've found something more than friendships. They no longer feel unsettled. They no longer seek and so they live their lives in security. They can live their lives in relaxed trust.

Kent Valentine

"There are 2 types of love. The love that you can express and declare and the love that you can express but can never declare" - Kent Valentine

Next yr I'll get an autograph.

Yellow light

Towards the end of easter break, life fell into the usual pattern again. On holiday, it always seemed like you had all the time in the world with nothing to do but you always found out that there were so much you forgot to do, on the last night. but of course, it was all too late.

2 days ago I found out I missed the last 10 episodes of Heroes and Lost but that's not the point. The point is the realisation that 10 weeks blissed by without me noticing and it left me wondering what have I done all these times. The first Back-to-base week approached like a flashing yellow light, signalling the coming of an end.

The second light glimpses in the not-so-far distance, marking the beginning of the home stretch.
but there're so much more that I wanted to do. so many things I haven't had the courage to do.

wasn't mine

Today I encountered a rare event of having spotted a $10 note on the ground at safeway.
My first reaction was picking it up and gave it to the counter. The guy asked me "Do you want to keep it?". I said "nah" and left.

Now I couldn't quite understand why I did what I did. When ppl see money lying around without any obvious owner they think finders keepers, right? so why then? maybe $10 was too much and I don't feel comfortable taking it. Maybe I've never seen a $10 note lying around for grap. maybe I would've taken it if it was $2? What would the guy at the counter do? The money isn't in the system. Noone is gonna claim it. How can you declare ownership of lost money? For all we know, the guy prob kept it himself. maybe because I didn't need that money. maybe it didn't feel right. maybe I'm a dumbass.

Why am I thinking so much? Should've just taken the money and buy half a tube of toothmousse.

actually, Love

About 2 months ago around the time of Valentine's day, I came across an article which pointed out how romantic movies can harm our relationships,which is being described as the so-called 'Nothing Hill effect'.
It is said that ppl who watch romcoms (and disney films alike) are more likely to hold on to the idea of predestined love and are more likely to be unhappy with their own relationships. Romcoms often paint the picture that lovers can suddenly develop a spark but portray married couples as being boring and loveless. The article revealed the common themes running through the line of romcom films, these being 'opposites attract', the 'pick me', the 'class warfare' and the 'secret identities'. This gives ppl unrealistic expectations of their own relationships. Thus more and more ppl now a day stay single in the belief that they can afford to wait for their soulmates and often, quit perfectly good relationships with the excuse that they didn't have the right person.

Sadly, I'm a romcom person and maybe I've been suffering from the Nothing Hill Effect. Today I watched Pride and Prejudice again and my heart was still moved by Keira Knightly, the idea of 'love chemistry' and the beautiful language my ears couldn't catch up to. For now, I think this is what I need, an indulgence, a glimpse of perfection in my imperfect life.
While being the all time classic love story, there was a hint of reality in the film that we cannot ignore. I was drawn to the character Charlotte, one of Lizzy's sisters who boldly stated that "not everyone can afford to be romantic" and it couldn't be more true. There are many ppl out there who are bounded by life's unfortunate circumstances and do not have choices in this matter. I do realise that life isn't a fairy tale but I can't help being scared that my life may end up being like Charlotte's. What a waste of a lifetime that would be.

Some random things I came across on the internet
- Love means never having to say you're sorry, mostly because when you screw up, you will need to make a much longer speech than that.
- You never know when love will strike, which makes it similar to terrorists.
- Love was originally invented by microsoft, thus explaining its chronic instability.
- We wear wedding rings on the left fourth finger because of the belief dated back to ancient egypt that the vein of love runs from this finger directly to the heart.

PS. Isn't it nice to think that everyone has been cut in two and we're all wandering the earth looking for our other half?

The Legend of BigMac

Once upon the time, there was a fat kid in a tiny village far far way. He loved eating BigMac and his dad grew weary of his eating habit. One day, his dad walked up to him with a newspaper and pointed out how much fat there is in each BigMac. His dad made a deal with him that for every BigMac eaten, the boy would have to swim 15 laps of the pool. The boy agreed and so he swam 15 laps for every BigMac he consumed. He even went swimming in advance on several occasions to accumulate BigMac points. Over the next 5 years, the fat kid grew tired of the whole process and slowly stopped eating BigMac.

The father is very pleased that his son no longer eats BigMac nor fat but is now a very good swimmer.

Hi crushedguava

Hi crushedguava, meet crushedcoconut.
Half week gone half day 46
Cannot became should not
Am not because it's you
Will not move but am scared
3 butterflies in dreamland

when...

Life sux...

...when ppl around disappoint you to the extent that you would rather be alone.
...when somewhere between the states of waking and sleeping, you fear what happened, what might have happened, what's happening and what you think will happen.
...when memories remind you how you are not good enough but you don't know why.
...when you know that looking away and ignoring it doesn't solve the problem but you do it anyway because it feels better.
...when you wait for someone on a leaving train and they don't show up.
...when they say the trains may meet later but you know it's a lie.
...when you can't answer to yourself why you're here, what are you doing and what do you want.
...when there's so much noise around but none is going into your head. You can't hear yourself think and you don't know where to turn to.
...when you feel weak but need to be strong for others.
...when you don't like what you do and so does everyone else but you can't change it.
...when you are living on 20c.
...when you need an aid of something along the line of Zoloft.
...when studying seems a better idea than whatever you are doing.
...when you feel disconnected and you fear the thing left holding it all together might be there for the wrong reason.
...when you can't control how you feel and knowing it, is depressing.
...when there are lines on 2 different levels and you dare not to cross it because you have so much to lose and because there's a big red sign 'don't jump'.
...when each bad decision you made leads on to the worse one made down the track.

...when you're lonely but not alone.

PS. Ever thought that adding a weaker piece to something can make it stronger?

Life doesn't wait

Some ppl don't understand that life doesn't wait for you to be ready. That was a pretty clear message from the forever-will-be-top-rom-com-in-my-heart movie, 'A Lot Like Love', telling us how we can't live our lives in a serial circuit, waiting for all the great things in life to come to you one by one, one after another. Life is a parallel circuit. Things (or s**ts) happen all the time. Destiny comes around the corner and you take whatever you can. You may not be great at multi-tasking but you hope that at the end of the day the goods will outweight the bads, that friends and love ones would carry you through hard times, that you'll come out the other end clean and learnt from your mistakes along the way. What if it takes a thousand mistakes for you to get it right? Can you afford to do it all one after another? Life's too short. Living life in series and you'll find you'll miss many trains.

I saw one of my friends' photo with his gf and it just dawned on me how it felt so right. I never thought I'd seen them in that sorta light but they really seemed happy and complete right there in the moment the picture was captured. Why do ppl with gf/bf have a glow about them? Are all great things really made in pairs? Why?

"Oliver, this is life. It doesn't wait for you to get back on your feet" - Graham ('A Lot Like Love" 2005)

25 Things about me

I've seen the 25 random things tag on facebook that has been circulating around and it didn't catch my attention until I read my brother's. Then I realised I really dunno a whole lot about him. So here I attempt to have my own version of the 25 random things about me.

1) Mum, Dad and my brother are the 3 greatest rolemodels in my life, whom which sum up who I am today. I always think I've got problem-solving and logical thinking from my dad while I've got the abstract thinking and sensitivity from my mum.

2) I follow my brother foot steps in many many things that I do. Usually, I couldn't do it as well as he does but I'm very happy with the things that I did and partially thankful that I'm not as good as he is or else I would've felt obligated to fulfil those potentials. These things include maths, soccer, badminton, athletics, mindgames, photography, carpentry and many other outdoor activites eg. rockclimbing, kayaking, bush walking, cycling, skiing, sailing, etc.

3) In yr 2003, I walked 100.3 km at Wombat state forest within 24 hrs. That was the first time I see a live full adult size red kangaroo jumping right past my face. In yr 2005, I cycled over 200km around Port Phillips bay under 12 hrs in a cycling event 'Around the bay in a day'. I was the last person to have gone over the Westgate bridge on the day and hence the last person to complete the event on the day. My bike computer registered 228.69km on that day. I would now like to attempt a 400+km drive under 6 hrs, hopefully in 2009.

4) I'm shortsighted with -6.25 (RHS) and -5.75 (LHS) and I also have astigmatism. It's a misconception that I'm a nerd because I wear thick glasses. I have poor eyesight owing to the genetic factor and my habit of watching TV in the dark when I was little in fear of waking my parents up. I've worn my glasses for over 15 yrs.

5) My last contact with girls before Uni was back in kindergarden given that I've been through all-boys primary and highschool. I remember being matched with one girl in second yr kindergarden whom I was teased about as being my gf. Her nickname was Nina.

6) I'm a Buddhist even though I went to christian primary and secondary school. During the 6 yrs in highschool, I had at least 4 bible readings every week, including half an hr chapel service on Sunday. I found that the more services I attended, the more repelled from christianity I felt.

7) I've only ever got one gf in my life despite what people around me think. I'm quite picky, like how I am with other aspects of my life.

8) I've been lazy all my life. My occasional displays of diligence almost always initiated from 'lazy' motives. It's always about achieving optimal results with minimal input and don't talk to me about doing things the last minute.

9) I enjoy reading quite a variety of novels but romantic novels are usually my preference when I want to relax my brain. My favourite romantic novel authors are Nicholas Sparks and กิ่งฉัตร (Thai novels). My life changing book is 'Ice Station' by Matthew Reilly which is the only book I've personally gone to ask for the author's autograph in my copy of the book.

10) I think I have a big personal space. I like doing things by myself and sometimes I can live by myself for a month without much human contact at all.

11) I used to grow up thinking my whole family is fat. Coincidentally, my mum nicknamed me 'Pui' which means chubby or fat in Hokkien.

12) I'm a very self-centered person. I have problem accepting what my mind doesn't like, to the point that I develop a way of tricking my brain into accepting things.

13) I live my life in patterns and so I have the urge to organise things into blocks, physically and imaginatively. I also have a fear of forgeting things which doesn't go well with my poor short term memory. I usually do a quick room sweep before leaving and I get caught up when I lost something as simple as a pen. I often forget what I want to say or do and am quite dependent on reminder notes. I used to get very upset when my mum washed away the 'notes' I accidentally left in my jeans' pocket.

14) I once thought that I would never grow out of playing games. I usually play computer games because I never own a PS, Nintendo, X-Box, Wii, etc. At 19, I got over it and stopped playing computer games. Now I only limit myself to boardgames.

15) I like drawing although I used to be terrible at it. I owe my dexterity to a comic called 'Conan' which I secretly bought with my lunch money behind my mum when I was little. Sketching Conan's character was how I started drawing but now I mainly sketch portraits. I still sux.

16) I have many regrets in life. I've done some terrible things the first few years away from home and I upset many ppl along the way. I think leaving home early was how I learnt to be a bit more considerate towards others.

17) I have a hunch back before starting dentistry due to my reading-in-bed habit.

18) I have numeral scars on my bodies. One on my head and one on my right wrist from broken window glass. One on the back of my right hand where a small greenish lump was excised. 2 on my right elbow from two seperate falls off the bike. A few on my left ankle and foot from a fall off a big rock.

19) Before 2007, I never thought Facebook could become the thing like many others of its kind such as Tagged, Multiply, Hi5 etc.

20) I own my first mobile phone in 1st year uni, the one which I'm still using today. I never own a pager, bluetooth or any other gadgets that became popular from time to time except a 30GB Ipod video.

21) I had my near death experience in Dec 2004 when I returned from phuket less than 24 hrs before Tsunami wiped the whole beach and most things 3km in land. I took a picture as I was walking on the pier without knowing that it would never be the same again.

22) I considered myself to be a lucky person. I was lucky even before I was born. My parents wanted 2 kids and my mum had a miscarriage before having my brother. I've almost never been born but I'm glad I'm my mum's boy for every minutes of my life.

23) I think that since it's my 23rd birthday, I shall end this 25 random things at 23.

Learning things the hard way

There's always a first time for everything, including a needle stick injury.

With everything in life, I find that we never really learn anything despite having been told over and over because it still feels like a fantasy that you can't relate to. But once it happened to yourself, it became a reality that's hard to forget and so we live through life making mistakes, one after another.

I've made mistakes, so many mistakes these past 5 yrs. I've made people cry. I've made some people lose faith. I've made people angry. I've made enemies without knowing. I've made some gain to my patient's loss but I'm grateful for their sacrifice. Many thanks to those who put up with me and guided me with kindness and compassion. I hope one day I'll be capable of giving it back.

I've always thought that I'm generally a lucky person. There were a lot of mistakes in my life but they were little ones that set me back but never really took me down. It almost seems like those were designed not to cause me grief but to make me learn things in life, predetermined check points. It's like another hurdle to jump over and I get stronger after each one.

Sometimes my knees knocked the bar and bruised but I never catch the bar by the foot and fall... like a rock.

Thoughts: Know when to remember, when to forget and when to forgive.

Who bit the Apple?

I've been curious for a while now on this question.
Why does McIntosh apple (MAC) have to be half bitten and Who bit it?

Me came up with 3 random answers

A: Adam - bcos "we were born to break rules", in reference to christian's belief of Adam eating the forbidden fruit of knowledge (maybe an apple?) and hence the term Adam's apple. *shrug*

B: Isaac - bcos he got hungry after too much thinking, in reference to Isaac Newton discovering gravity.

C: An angry orange - in reference to my Photo5's 'Domestic Violence'

So...

do you think like a Christian, a Scientist or my friend?
Feel free to drop in more answers =)

อย่างน้อย

ในชีวิต เคยถูกคนปฏิเสธของขวัญวันเกิดบ้างหรือเปล่า

เธอเคยบอกเราว่า มีแต่คนทำให้เธอผิดหวังในวันเกิดเสมอ
เราก็อยากจะทำให้เธอมีความสุข เพราะเราคิดว่าทุกๆคน สมควรที่จะมีสิ่งดีๆเข้ามาในชีวิตบ้าง อย่างน้อยก็ในวันเกิดของตัวเอง
เรานั่งทำการ์ดวันเกิดให้เธอตั้งแต่ 3 อาทิตย์ก่อน จนเพื่อนคนอื่นมันว่าเราบ้า
เรานั่งคิดหาอะไรให้เธอทำสนุกๆ เธอก็ไม่สนใจ
เราจะพาเธอไปเลี้ยงอาหารเช้าข้างนอกในวันเกิดก่อนไปทำงาน เธอก็คงไม่ต้องการอีก
อาทิตย์ก่อนเราไปเที่ยวงาน moomba กับเพื่อน เล่นเกมส์ตามซุ้มเอารางวัล ดูพลุจนงานจะจบ เพื่อนก็จะกลับกันหมดแล้ว
เธอคงไม่รู้ว่าวันนั้น เราก็ยังคิดถึงเธอ คิดว่าเธอคงชอบตุ๊กตามาริโอ้ที่เป็นรางวัลใหญ่ของบางซุ้ม
เราไม่เคยคิดจะอยากได้เลยยยย แต่เราก็แยกจากเพื่อน กลับเข้าไปเล่นจนชนะ หวังจะให้เป็นของขวัญเธอ
ถ้าเธอไม่เอา เราก็ไม่รู้จะเก็บไว้ทำไม อยากได้ก็เปล่า เสียเงิน เสียเวลา เก็บไว้ก็เสียความรู้สึก
เธอบอก...ว่ามีแต่คนทำให้เธอผิดหวังในวันเกิด
แล้วเธอเคยคิดบ้างไม้ ว่าตัวเธอเองก็คอยแต่จะปฏิเสธความหวังดีคนอื่น
เธอบอก...ว่ามีแต่คนทำให้เธอผิดหวังในวันเกิด
เธอคงไม่รู้อีกแหล่ะว่ามีคนทำให้เราผิดหวังทุกๆวัน แม้แต่กับคนที่เราหวังดีด้วยและคอยให้ตลอด ไม่ต้องรอให้ถึงวันเกิดเราหรอก
เธอบอก...ว่าเข้าใจ เข้าใจว่าความสุขอยู่ที่การให้มากกว่าที่การรับ แต่เธอก็ไม่ขอรับเอาไว้
ถ้าความสุขมันอยู่ที่การให้จริง แล้วที่เธอปฏิเสธของที่เราให้มันหมายความว่าอะไร เธอไม่อยากให้เรามีความสุขหรอ
ช่างไม่เข้าใจอะไรเลย

แต่เอาเถอะ นับจากวินาทีนี้จะเป็นวันเกิดเธอ
24 ชั่วโมงของเธอที่เราจะไม่ทำให้เธอผิดหวัง แม้เธอจะไม่ต้องการมันก็ตาม
บางครั้งก็เบื่อ เบื่อตัวเองที่ยังเป็นอย่างนี้ เหนื่อย...เหนื่อยที่คอยแต่จะเป็นคนให้
และเหนื่อยที่สุดกับการให้ที่คนรับไม่ต้องการ

"ความพยายามที่ทำเพื่อเธอ จะขอทำต่อไป แค่มีรอยยิ้มของเธอส่งมา ก็ชื่นใจ..."

Sometimes I wish you'd listened

Why did you ask me, twice, if you don't care about what I have to say anyway?

girls...

Mario's

I went out to have a late breakfast today at a place called Mario's on Brunswick st and I saw this menu.
"Tofu ball with soba noodle, bok choi, mushroom, capsicum, chilli and soy"
My mind wondered how asian can one dish gets and how much of a loner would capsicum feels.

While sitting there, my eyes dashed to the side and saw a toilet sign.
Thought one day I will say this to someone.
"I wish we could always be like a toilet sign"
and this was the image in my head.









=)

Michael Schofield wanna-be

A few days back, I was woken up from my nap by a friend and was told that she got my key stuck in the door. In my half awake half dopey state, I went downstairs and the key sure was stuck.
After trying to turn very hard a couple of times, I decided that I needed to eat dinner first.
=)

There are certain features that you would expect your normal door lock to have and they are the followings:
- the lock can only be opened by your keys alone.
- the key cannot be pulled out from the key hole while turning.
- the key hole cannot be turned once the key is out.

As it turned out, there were some faulty springs inside the lock that got caught, causing the key to get stuck. After pulling apart my door knob, losing a few damaged springs and dropping a few small parts of the lock, this is the state my door lock is currently in.

- it still can be locked from inside and outside.
- an unidentical but similar key may be able to unlock the door from the inside only.
- if lucky, the door can be unlocked from the inside without needing any key at all.
- sometimes the key maybe stuck while retrieving it out of the socket (the inside lock of course). you simply need to wiggle it a bit and hope for the best.

As my friend put it, the state of my door lock may be benefitial to 'a very unlucky burglar who couldnt find the key once he broke into the house via windows'.
I mean, once the burglar got inside the house, the state of the lock from the inside is irrelevant.

The experience was fun tho. This was almost like a puzzle. I love mind games.
Isn't life beautiful?

Ego revived

Friends think I'm too aggressive with teeth.
Demonstrators didnt think I can do it.
They all have one thing in common. Sterotype.

After my demonstrator concluded that I cut through the side of my patient's tooth, both me and my patient suffered through a great depression for 3 days. I had my doubt of how good I really am and whether I was really overconfident, because that perforation was just one too many. What more, the guy is my presentation case for the end of year exam. It certainly won't look good if I stuffed up. I've been anxious about the endo drought this yr, feeling a bit restless staying away from K files this long. It would be unbearable to refer the patient away.

After getting my patient back to confirm my apparent "mistake" and opened up the tooth, a perfect root canal anatomy was staring at my face. The perfect 4 canals upper molar first seen through my eyes.
The patient is no longer in pain and the previous swelling went away in hrs after the last visit, according to him.
It wasn't a perforation. It was the canal that I found but my demonstrator couldnt find.
I did a perfect access preparation, the best by me to date and so there was a regret, a regret that I lost my cool, a regret that I let other ppl tell me what I can or cant do and in doing so, my patient suffered. It was unfair, to my patient.
I was happy, happy for the fact that I refused to accept my demonstrator's diagnosis and had the energy to prove it.

In the high of proving my demonstrator wrong, I met the new obstacle, a constricted canal which reminded me once again that I'm just a small fish in the ocean. The root canal anatomy isn't as simple as I once thought and there are so much more to learn

The lesson for the day: learn off someone who knows more than you

Alcofree

I'm sick.
I knew it was coming these last few days but the symptoms were only aggrevated by my lack of sleep last night.
I had to drive an hr to Knox to work today and an hr back.
The throbbing in my head and the nasal sinus were torturing.
Came home at 6pm, needing to sleep so badly only to rush out of the house for study goup meeting with friends but without dinner.
B4 leaving tho, I was desperate for any kind of relief I can get.
The 3 different medicines I used to have as nasal decongestant are of no use.
One was expired at the end of last yr. One, I couldn't find and I suspected expiration was the reason I threw it out. and one would make me drowsy as a side effect + it's not to be taken with alcohol. Just perfect.
With all these sickness and medicines, it seemed faithed not to go on pub crawl tonight.
While scrambling for panadol, I realised alcohol reduces liver functions which metabolise panadol.
Definitely no alcohol tonight.

If we were emoticons

Hot

Last month's weather was pretty hot, hitting 40+ on a few of the days.
'Hot' was one of the most overused words of the week and so I came up with a line to answer that.
Ever since I attempted to use it on as many ppl as possible but the weather no longer permits it.
=(

A: Sooooooo HOT!!!!!
B: Me, you or the air in between? :)
A: ...

Lame but thought it was a good idea at the time.

Chemistry

How can we tell ourselves if the person is a friend or more than 'just friend'?
It really is a cliche but prob is accurate to say 'when you can't stop thinking about the person'.
If by a sudden wake of a moment you had this oh-I-totally-forgot-about-this-person thought then that person is prob not that special to you.
They said you've gotta have chemistry.

What's chemistry?
How can one person have so much influence on another even when they hardly know each other really puzzles me. This chemistry thing is extraordinary. When the person is not around, it heightens the brain function, specifically in the lobe containing all memories of that person. The image of the person becomes crystal clear like somehow you're invisibly connected.

When your eyes see them, even just a quick glance across the room, the 'chemistry' switches on the radar scan in your head, subconsciously extracting blurry images from your peripheral vision and tells you the person's whereabout in the room without looking. More or less like a homing missile locking its target except you want to switch your stupid radar off but your command has been overridden by this 'chemistry' thing.

The funny thing life always throws at you is the fact that when we madly wanna see that person, they are never around. But when we are trying to switch off the radar, that person's presence seems to be lingering around all the time making it impossible to do so. Everything you see, everything you eat, everywhere you go will inevitably remind you of them.

According to a British Journal published in 1998, this 'chemistry' is believed to be a molecule in the body made up of rare elements Lutetium and Vanadium. The bonding strength is usually stable but the reaction taken to achieve that molecular structure requires a catalyst which is yet to be determined. Ever since the discovery, the research has come up with the synthetic model of the molecule composing of Chromium, Uranium, Sulphur and Hydrogen which is more readily available but has a much higher rate of reuptake by the body. No wonder it's only short acting.

Sigh* I'm tired of chemistry.

Lonely day

I think I wrote a blog for Valentine's day every yr and the msg is the same old same.

Valentine's day is officially a lonely day...
when parents and family are not around,
friends are too busy with their gf/bf,
single friends are too scared to hang out in fear of possible misunderstandings.

Life sux. I played badminton.

Oh dentistry

Some analogies offered by a friend and by me

#1

Dentistry is like playing poker. Dentists with experience can tackle most problems like most players can win with winning hands. But only good players can win with crappy ones. And that's done with a bit of bluffing and a bit of confidence.

#2

Doing dentistry is like being in a relationship. It sux but you stay in it anyway because you hope tomorrow will get better, though it never does.

Awesomeness

Please do not read if allergic to high level of arrogance and awesomeness.

I'm awesome
This week, it has been a serie of some awesome fillings, one after another.
Best amalgam effort by me to date. Best Composite build up to date. and Fuji IX too.
How awesome you may ask?
It was demonstrator-asked-how-did-you-do-it awesome.

ok I exaggerated it (a lot) but the point was that I'm happy with the fillings I've done so far
No one will notice it. Pts wont thank me for it. but it's my pride and joy.
After feeling less motivated this yr, this life's little pleasure is what keeps me going from day to day.
The only setback is the time taken to achieve the work.

Of course speed comes with experience but I find that as we move away from educational institution, we are starting to compromise quality for time.
When we are rushing, a filling is just another job and soon we are tired of it. But when we are perfecting, working becomes a pleasure.
I do think that to be a good dentist you need to have skills, speed and most importantly, integrity. That is the ability to uphold the high standard of work and to never compromise.
I'll prob become an anal dentist who spends too much time on one filling and earns little money but I'll be happy.
As stated by my hero, "there's no charge for awesomeness"

I'm awesome... and so I should act accordingly.
By the way, Barney Stinson took that line from me, not the other way around

Spewed yet? I told you so

41 mins left

A few minutes back, a random icebreaker/chain mail question popped into my head.
"what would you do if you realise the world will end tomorrow?"... and there's only 41 mins left til midnight

"Hug parents. Send caring msgs to friends. listen to good music like John Mayer's." -- Cheeky
Hearing what my friend had to say for herself saddened me for the fact that I havent seen my parents for over a year, havent hugged them for just as long and won't be able to see them b4 I go.
My brother decided to be in Wollongong which makes my closest living relatives a few kms shy of a 1000.
I certainly cannot be bothered sending all the msgs to friends cos the service would prob be jammed cos everyone are thinking of the same thing like on new years eye. Plus I don't think that's how I want to spend my last 40 or so mins. [side story - my friend sent a msg to himself on NYE and it didnt come thru until after 30+ mins.]
and...I dun like John Mayer

For a minute I wondered, How many firsts can I realistically accomplish in 40 minutes.
So here's my version.
I shall run downstairs dialling my mum's home number. Tell mum I love her and thank her for who I am today, while starting up my car. Call dad's mobile cos he's prob still at work telling him pretty much the same thing and also how he never get to see me drive drive a car by myself.
After hanging up, I shall speed the car over 130km/hr for the first time (1st).
Break into uni (1st) [the stopping bars are just plastic anyway] and drive an honourary lap in Batman's tunnel (1st).
Drive past a friend's place on drummond st. Throw a rock at her window, hopefully breaking it (1st) in the process. Yell "thanks". Keep driving towards the city, going past Verve. Attempt to throw rocks at any window (1st) since I dunno which room my friend is in. Yell "thanks" anyway. Sadly those are the 2 close friends that are here now and are on my way to the city.
Once reaching the city, do as many hook turns (1st) as I can in the shortest route possible to Flinder st, honking at the horses (1st) if I see one or two along the way.
Pick up Spanish Churros at Flinder st station (1st) without paying (1st) and keep driving past south bank.
Find her apartment (1st), give her half of the churros (1st) and kiss her (1st).
Her face can be the last I see.

Times up.

It was brutal today

ah 40 degrees...just when we thought this summers gonna go by in cool breezes,
it was simply not the case.

Melbourne is apparently going thru the driest January in who knows how many yrs.
The bushfire, the ashes, the bursted waterpipe, and my cracked lip.
(which has proven that regardless of seasons, the Australian weather is always dry)

Today was a hot hot hot day...way above the legal temperature limit
Walking out from the comfort of air-conditioned RDHM this afternoon, it reminded me again how human are not meant to live in such condition.

My skin was screaming 'i couldnt take this anymore'
As the hot gusting wind brushed past my face, it felt like all oxygen escaped my body, and hydrogen twice as much.
I dun wan beaches. I dun wan a tan. I just wanna be in a tub full of ice with connetto in my mouth.

Oh sun, it was brutal today

PS. charcoal chicken was good

Ur big, my little

lately life evolves a lot around kids.
seeing friend's kid, seeing kids at the community clinics, watching a movie about kids in 'role models'
and I'm starting to believe what my dental idol once said. u've gotta love kids. kids r cool.
Even the one I saw today...
That kid in primary care clinic certainly enriched my life.
He was the first kid I attempted to extract the tooth out of.
He has the longest primary tooth I've ever seen to date.
He was the first kid I knew to endure an hour of extraction time yet did not make a scene
Pulling his tooth made me sweat like a p*g and gave me the first cramp in my left forearm.
It was the first tooth I failed to extract and had someone saying to me "oh supa, it's just a baby tooth"
all-in-all an awesome kid. wouldnt have a second thought if I had to do it all again.

On the random note, my friend wrote a song and I thought one line was funny. It said
"I wasn't stalking.
I was just walking...right.. behind.. you" ...hehe

Prince et Princess

Within these last few months, I knew of at least 5 friends' couples that broke up. At the time, it felt unexpected and sad cos there was a part of me that believes in fairy tales.
My friend has a theory that ppl break up around the end of yr b4 Valentine day comes along but I think it's just the seasons.

ppl get together in spring, not cos it's the 'mating' season but becos it has the happy (no exam...yet) and warm (literally) and flowery feelings to it. It's also becos everyone else are getting together and the devil on ur shoulder tells you to be a little bit jealous.
ppl get together in spring but they don't survive the summer break (as you often see in teen dramas like gossip girl etc).
During the summer break, ppl move away into different environments. Some ppl go home to meet old friends and family. They are happy and busy, so they leave the troublesome routine world and the ppl in it behind, the one involving uni, lectures and exams.
It's like they are closing a book, shelfing a chapter of their lives away with a bookmark and thinking 'I'll get back to it later'.

Relationships are easy(-ier?) when you're together and spend time everyday. It's what you do while you're away to let the other person know you're always there for them that counts.
If you don't do that, you'll find that one day when you reopen the book, it'll be filled with pages of tales and stories, but you're not in it any more.
Life doesn't pause. Love doesn't pause.

It's like Prince Charming getting distracted by disney music and the singing birds in the forest. When he turns up at the castle, he finds that the princess has already been rescued by Shrek... and guess who did the princess married?

Summer '09 I find myself in the same situation as I was 3 yrs ago, only I was a prince then but a princess now

Bin-ing thoughts at Ferntree Gully

While waiting for the train at Ferntree gully station, some random thoughts creeped to my mind.

If we accidentally got onto the wrong platform, we have to walk/run down the long ramp, cross the rail track at the end of the station and walk/run up the ramp on the other side...which is...quite far.
So if we realise we're on the wrong platform the moment the train appears in our sight, it's all too late unless we jump off the platform, run across and try to climb the platform on the other side directly in front of us.
Here's the thought. An average person should be able to climb up the train platform.
But what about fat ppl. I'm talking obese-baby-elephant fat. They have no chance of making it up onto the platform.
So if the train station is blocked from both ends and we put one fat person down on the track between platforms, we can starve that person to death. right? (oh oh ...more random answer/thought at the bottom)
so mean and random I am.

some other (positive?) thought.
Kids are the coolest beings on earth.
It's only when they grow up that they become idiots, do drugs and follow brandnames.


No. If he's patient enough he can gather all the pebbles around the track, pile them all up and climb out =)

Fantasy world

Travel log.

6.32 Leave Fish Pond Town. Get onto East Aus current. 800m swim to Uniport
6.35 Caught in the intersection whirlpool. 2mins delay
6.50 Pick up ham&mayo at Delight Island on the way. 5mins delay by bread-loving grandma. Swim at 2x speed
6.59 Pay speed boat fare at booth 7, watching 2 speed boats go by.
6.55 Uniport Speed Boat (schedule)
7.01 on South M speed boat
7.07 Arrive @ Central Underground City. Delayed by the diving bell
7.08 Central Underground City Submarine (schedule)
7.09 Miss BG XPress1 sub.
7.09.30 Swim up. No decompression stop. Inhale extra nitrox.
7.12 Surface and grab the side of the passing speedboat, chasing BG XPress1.
7.16 Dock @ Clock City. Activate water-running no jutsu. Board BG XPress1 30sec b4 leaving
7.17 Clock City Submarine (schedule)
8.08 Dock @ the Hidden Forest City. Hike 800m south.
8.13 Hike past G.B.Woolley hut
8.18 Arrive @ Tooth Town. Meet Davin arriving on personal jet.
8.37 Meet tooth fairies

PC 01

- Read pts cos they all have 'the most' painful toothache in the world.

- Tell pt when shits happen. so u can go to sleep at night.

- Meet best friends: Amoxicillin, Metronidazole, odontopaste, LA and scalpel blade.

- Try not to think of pus

Leading

I believe that for anyone to go on living his/her life, he or she needs to have 2 things and I'm not talking about something objective like oxygen or money.
I think we all need to have purposes and hope i.e. a vision of something to aim for and the belief that it's a possibilty.
Someone once said a leader can not lead if he doesnt know where he's going, so in order for me to lead my own life, I think I need to put something down as a reminder.

In 2009, I shall aim to:
- Study dentistry for my patients and myself and not for passing exams
- Learn manual driving and get a full Victorian license by the end of this yr
- Be more financially intelligent
- Regularly exercise in the form other than badminton
- Be more awared of whats going on around me
- Think more about others
- Learn the GowGates technique