X'mas

X'mas is an important date for many to look forward to every yr.
but X'mas was never special or hold any significance to me.
As I sit down and think back, I cant exactly recall what I did for X'mas, not even last yr.
Ive spent 3 X'mas away from home including this yr.

X'mas '98 was the first yr I came to study in Aus. I cant remember much except that it was 42 degrees and it was something involving me lying in bed with the fan blowing hot air into my face.
In 1998, it was the first time I woke up at 2pm and I felt so ashamed of myself.
Today I woke up at 3pm but am no longer ashamed. What has happened in 10 yrs?

X'mas '06 I was on Fraser Island but what was I doing is just as vague as any other yrs.
Though maybe, it had something to do with this photo

X'mas is a busy time for family, shopping, celebrating etc
and it makes me wonder why does it seem to be the least busy time of the yr for me.

Going back to the basic of life.
We balance our time up for 4 things: yourself, friends, partner and family

Yourself - Time to work. Time to study. Time to relax and do something u want.
Friends - Keeping up with friend circles. For us uni kids, I find that around Xmas is usually the time to catch up with highschool friends.
Partner - *sigh*
Family - Ideally prob consume most of the time during Xmas. Realistically it never makes a difference to me. In these recent yrs, I find that cousins r moving away overseas. With the passing away of my uncle and grandma, I wonder what it would be like at home this yr.

and there, the answer to my question is so simple.
My family is not here.
GF...not sure I hav one
Most friends are overseas, not that I hav many in the first place. A recent conversation with one of the 2 friends I sorta keep in touch with from Primary school pointed something out. The 3 of us are growing apart. Clearly, we r not even in the same continent anymore. One in Aus. One in UK and one in US.
Myself. The work is there but the motivation isnt immediate. The long list of things to do over the holiday is left on the top of the cabinet, catching dust. I certainly procrastinate in every aspects of my life. Gotta get rid of this habit.

Secret X'mas wish: To spend one Xmas somewhere with snow