July 14, 2008

The 4th pothole

Through iron core and butter field, he drilled
In search of a map...in search of thrill
Through the mine field, he dug around
One..two..three....four potholes he found
But his mind was only playing tricks
There's no DP canal in 26
Too soon to celebrate, he realised
It was a perforation in disguise

3 comments:

crushedguava said...

You might add a comma to your last sentence. I think it would add more punch and oomph to the poem.

Just my two cents.

;p

_V said...

i wrote a comment a couple of days ago and it got lost into cyber space oblivion!

I came back to check if you had replied. sheesh i hope you didn't delete it.

Can we be friends again? On days i drink coffee already?

2nd time comments suck bollocks.
Poem is amazingly funny, lame and smart, subtle and just plain laugh out loud funny. Oh my misfortunate for you. I'm left speechless in incredulousity of your ability to draw inspiration from such things. HA. Shakespeare wrote sonnets on love, you m'dear need to get out more. =P

sorry about long comment, that's for not being my friend! XP

Supa04 said...

I didnt delete any comments. must be the cyber space black hole.

yes we can be fren..when ur not grumpy and sulky over uni

thnx for the best comment i ever hav and yes i need to get out more

on holidays i tend to dwell on novels and movies a lot when frens r not around