Kent Valentine

"There are 2 types of love. The love that you can express and declare and the love that you can express but can never declare" - Kent Valentine

Next yr I'll get an autograph.

Yellow light

Towards the end of easter break, life fell into the usual pattern again. On holiday, it always seemed like you had all the time in the world with nothing to do but you always found out that there were so much you forgot to do, on the last night. but of course, it was all too late.

2 days ago I found out I missed the last 10 episodes of Heroes and Lost but that's not the point. The point is the realisation that 10 weeks blissed by without me noticing and it left me wondering what have I done all these times. The first Back-to-base week approached like a flashing yellow light, signalling the coming of an end.

The second light glimpses in the not-so-far distance, marking the beginning of the home stretch.
but there're so much more that I wanted to do. so many things I haven't had the courage to do.

wasn't mine

Today I encountered a rare event of having spotted a $10 note on the ground at safeway.
My first reaction was picking it up and gave it to the counter. The guy asked me "Do you want to keep it?". I said "nah" and left.

Now I couldn't quite understand why I did what I did. When ppl see money lying around without any obvious owner they think finders keepers, right? so why then? maybe $10 was too much and I don't feel comfortable taking it. Maybe I've never seen a $10 note lying around for grap. maybe I would've taken it if it was $2? What would the guy at the counter do? The money isn't in the system. Noone is gonna claim it. How can you declare ownership of lost money? For all we know, the guy prob kept it himself. maybe because I didn't need that money. maybe it didn't feel right. maybe I'm a dumbass.

Why am I thinking so much? Should've just taken the money and buy half a tube of toothmousse.

actually, Love

About 2 months ago around the time of Valentine's day, I came across an article which pointed out how romantic movies can harm our relationships,which is being described as the so-called 'Nothing Hill effect'.
It is said that ppl who watch romcoms (and disney films alike) are more likely to hold on to the idea of predestined love and are more likely to be unhappy with their own relationships. Romcoms often paint the picture that lovers can suddenly develop a spark but portray married couples as being boring and loveless. The article revealed the common themes running through the line of romcom films, these being 'opposites attract', the 'pick me', the 'class warfare' and the 'secret identities'. This gives ppl unrealistic expectations of their own relationships. Thus more and more ppl now a day stay single in the belief that they can afford to wait for their soulmates and often, quit perfectly good relationships with the excuse that they didn't have the right person.

Sadly, I'm a romcom person and maybe I've been suffering from the Nothing Hill Effect. Today I watched Pride and Prejudice again and my heart was still moved by Keira Knightly, the idea of 'love chemistry' and the beautiful language my ears couldn't catch up to. For now, I think this is what I need, an indulgence, a glimpse of perfection in my imperfect life.
While being the all time classic love story, there was a hint of reality in the film that we cannot ignore. I was drawn to the character Charlotte, one of Lizzy's sisters who boldly stated that "not everyone can afford to be romantic" and it couldn't be more true. There are many ppl out there who are bounded by life's unfortunate circumstances and do not have choices in this matter. I do realise that life isn't a fairy tale but I can't help being scared that my life may end up being like Charlotte's. What a waste of a lifetime that would be.

Some random things I came across on the internet
- Love means never having to say you're sorry, mostly because when you screw up, you will need to make a much longer speech than that.
- You never know when love will strike, which makes it similar to terrorists.
- Love was originally invented by microsoft, thus explaining its chronic instability.
- We wear wedding rings on the left fourth finger because of the belief dated back to ancient egypt that the vein of love runs from this finger directly to the heart.

PS. Isn't it nice to think that everyone has been cut in two and we're all wandering the earth looking for our other half?

The Legend of BigMac

Once upon the time, there was a fat kid in a tiny village far far way. He loved eating BigMac and his dad grew weary of his eating habit. One day, his dad walked up to him with a newspaper and pointed out how much fat there is in each BigMac. His dad made a deal with him that for every BigMac eaten, the boy would have to swim 15 laps of the pool. The boy agreed and so he swam 15 laps for every BigMac he consumed. He even went swimming in advance on several occasions to accumulate BigMac points. Over the next 5 years, the fat kid grew tired of the whole process and slowly stopped eating BigMac.

The father is very pleased that his son no longer eats BigMac nor fat but is now a very good swimmer.

Hi crushedguava

Hi crushedguava, meet crushedcoconut.
Half week gone half day 46
Cannot became should not
Am not because it's you
Will not move but am scared
3 butterflies in dreamland

when...

Life sux...

...when ppl around disappoint you to the extent that you would rather be alone.
...when somewhere between the states of waking and sleeping, you fear what happened, what might have happened, what's happening and what you think will happen.
...when memories remind you how you are not good enough but you don't know why.
...when you know that looking away and ignoring it doesn't solve the problem but you do it anyway because it feels better.
...when you wait for someone on a leaving train and they don't show up.
...when they say the trains may meet later but you know it's a lie.
...when you can't answer to yourself why you're here, what are you doing and what do you want.
...when there's so much noise around but none is going into your head. You can't hear yourself think and you don't know where to turn to.
...when you feel weak but need to be strong for others.
...when you don't like what you do and so does everyone else but you can't change it.
...when you are living on 20c.
...when you need an aid of something along the line of Zoloft.
...when studying seems a better idea than whatever you are doing.
...when you feel disconnected and you fear the thing left holding it all together might be there for the wrong reason.
...when you can't control how you feel and knowing it, is depressing.
...when there are lines on 2 different levels and you dare not to cross it because you have so much to lose and because there's a big red sign 'don't jump'.
...when each bad decision you made leads on to the worse one made down the track.

...when you're lonely but not alone.

PS. Ever thought that adding a weaker piece to something can make it stronger?